


concentrate

by Kingley



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-02 20:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14553186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingley/pseuds/Kingley
Summary: Heejin has a crush on an older classmate.





	1. Wrong key

Heejin's fingers shake as they run along the cool keys of a piano. It's useless, she can't do this with her watching. 

 

 

 

 

"Go on," Hyunjin encourages. Heejin resists frowning too evidently. She says it like it's so easy. She's not the one with a crush, of course. It's never like that. 

 

She begins to play and like magic - she hits the wrong key. It's a sad, dejected tone that resounds. Hyunjin does not scold her: she never does. Gently as always, she nudges Heejin's prone hands aside and plays the correct tune. Heejin is useless. She's always been. 

 

"Try it again," Hyunjin suggests softly. Heejin is nothing if not obedient. 

 

She lays her hand on the keys and - 

 

_*_

 

"I'm not good at this," Heejin finally whines after a day of failure. "I'm not getting any better." 

 

Hyunjin doesn't seem bothered in the slightest. She only tilts her head and waits for more. 

 

"We practice every single day. I'm just not cut out for piano," Heejin finishes, fingers slipping off the keys and onto her lap. 

 

"I think you've improved," Hyunjin compliments. It's just a whisper. Hyunjin is always talking like they're squished in the tiniest room in the world, intimate and close. 

 

"Of course you do. You're my teacher, and you'd be a bad one if you agreed," Heejin retorts. 

 

"I'd be a bad one if I lied to you." Hyunjin says. She shifts on the bench they share, laying a hesitant hand on her shoulder. "Heejin, you're doing fine." 

 

It's that touch that brings her back down. 

 

"Why don't we take a break?" 

 

_*_

 

"So, that's why you agreed? You could have said no. I don't think you like wasting your time after school," Heejin says, setting down her cup of ice cream. 

 

"It's not a waste of time," Hyunjin replies. "It's fun." 

 

"Fun," Heejin repeats. The word is bland as it rolls around her mouth. 

 

"You're fun," Hyunjin says, smiling slightly. Heejin shakes her head. 

 

"Now I know you're lying."  

 

"Why do you say that?" she asks, like she doesn't see exactly what Heejin is talking about. Heejin shifts her gaze to the older girl whose eyes never seem to stray from her. 

 

"The most I've done is complain."

 

"It's nice to hear you talk. My family doesn't speak much at all," Hyunjin explains. Heejin doesn't really get it. Hyunjin was president of student council, captain of the tennis team, and even first chair of the flute section. Shouldn't she be used to hearing people whine around her? 

 

Heejin watches as the older girl sets down her bowl. It doesn't even clink. 

 

_*_

 

"You're so lucky. You've got Hyunjin coming over everyday after school, and you aren't even grateful about it!" Chuu complains. Heejin rests her head on her palm, ready to tune out the smaller girl. "She's seriously so nice!" 

 

"She only did it because my mom cornered her at the grocery store. She's getting paid, anyway," Heejin replies, annoyed. She glances around the cafeteria, strangely wanting to see the older girl. Chuu shakes her head. 

 

"You're so ridiculous! If Yves showed up at my doorstep asking if I'd like to learn piano, I'd be crying tears of joy!" 

 

Heejin bites back a grimace. Chuu really could not stop talking about her stupid crush. If she weren't so prideful, Heejin knows she'd do the same. 

 

"I don't care, besides -" 

 

Hyunjin steps into the cafeteria and everything seems to fade out like background noise. It's just her, the only thing she can see and then - her boyfriend, grinning and smiling like an idiot behind her. Heejin clenches her teeth, turning her attention down to the relatively clean table. 

 

"Yves' chin is so pointy... she stabbed my freaking heart with it!" Chuu cries out, clutching her chest. 

 

_*_

 

She lays her hand on the keys and - it's horrible. Awful. The worst she's ever messed up. 

 

"You're not focusing," Hyunjin observes. Her voice is without a lilt or question. 

 

"Sorry," Heejin replies monotonously. "I'm just tired." 

 

"We can just practice tomorrow," Hyunjin offers. Heejin shakes her head, gazing at her suddenly trembling fingers. 

 

"No, let's not. I don't want to do this anymore." 

 

_*_

 

 

 

 

"Hyunjin didn't say a word during student council," Chuu says, eyes focused on Heejin. "I wonder why." 

 

"Maybe she was tired," she replies. She hears Chuu huff but doesn't bother responding. 

 

"So, you're just going to ignore her from now on?" 

 

"It's not like we were friends," she answers. Strangely, it feels wrong to say that. It's a rejection of everything they had, and it hurts more than she wants it to. 

 

"You're ridiculous," Chuu declares. Heejin nods. 

 

"Yeah, I am."

 

_*_

 

"Oh, Heejin! I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could print out these layouts for the yearbook," Yves says, smiling apologetically. "I have to help Ms. Lee with something right now." 

 

"Sure," Heejin agrees. She grasps the papers as lightly as she can and begins her trek to the printing room. 

 

"Oh, the printer is broken. The one in the computer room is probably fine, though," Kim explains right when Heejin opens the door to the dimly lit room. Dust swirls around as fluorescent light flitters in. Heejin's nose twitches. 

 

"Ah, thanks," she murmurs. Kim smiles. 

 

"I'll walk with you. I have to print out some forms for student council, anyway," she says. 

 

"Oh, you're the Vice, right?" Heejin asks. 

 

"Yeah, I don't know why! I think they just voted for me because I'm a senior." 

 

Kim pops open the door to the computer room and gestures for her to go in first. It's quiet as the machine whirrs in the background. 

 

"Your solo was great at the band recital last year," Heejin compliments, finding nothing else to say. Kim beams as she shuffles her papers together. 

 

"Thanks! I didn't think I was that good. Honestly, I'm better at piano, but Ms. Cho always plays it for us," Kim replies, a bit of a whine in her tone. Heejin squints her eyes softly. 

 

"Piano?" 

 

_*_

 

 

 

 

Every sixth period, Heejin sits behind Chuu, beside Vivi, and in front of Chaeyoung. That's how it's supposed to be and how it has always been. 

 

"Quarterly seat changes have arrived!" Ms. Oh calls out. The classroom erupts in a chorus of groans. "Yeah, yeah, every time you switch you hate it until next quarter rolls around!"

 

She gets the seat right in the back corner. It's probably ideal for someone that wanted to take a nap during class however she needed to bring her grades up before finals. Mandarin wasn't difficult, but lately she'd been bombing the quizzes. 

 

"Hello," someone says beside her. She shifts in her seat and grins as convincingly as she can. 

 

"Hi, Hyunjin." 

 

"So, how are you?" the older girl asks like Heejin hadn't fired her out of nowhere. Heat gnaws at her chest, neck, jaw. She inhales, chest expanding. 

 

"I'm okay but... Are you - I'm sorry for the way I went about the whole piano thing," Heejin apologizes, trying to focus on Hyunjin's eyes. 

 

"I'm fine. I just wanted to know why. I still do, but if it's too hard to say then -" 

 

"I can't concentrate around you," Heejin interjects. She shuts her eyes, grimacing. "Sorry, that sounded weird."

 

"No, no. It's not weird. I guess my teaching method was too intrusive?" the older girl wonders, head tilted. Her hair falls like silk down her shoulders. Heejin wants badly to touch it, to grasp it in her fingers. 

 

She laughs instead, and it feels like dying. It's better than explaining, though.

 

_*_

 

"This is so weird. You kept saying you suck, but you're pretty good. Like, not the best. Your timing needs work but... it's not bad," Kim compliments beside her on the wooden bench. 

 

"Thanks?" Heejin replies, tucking her hands into her pockets. Kim grins, standing up with a flourish.

 

"I wonder why Hyunjin couldn't cut it." 

 

Heejin feels herself tense. She doesn't turn around. She can't. 

 

"What?" 

 

"Everyone knows that Hyunjin used to be your piano teacher. I really wanna know what happened, actually." 

 

"It just didn't work out," she answers, feeling Kim's presence behind her. Warm palms lay on her shoulder. 

 

"I wonder why," Kim whispers into her ear, hot breath lingering even as she moves away. "You, Heejin, are so predictable." She smiles innocently, arms folded behind her. 

 

Heejin's nerves are shot, hairs standing on end. She waits a moment, composing herself. 

 

"Kim, you're really creepy, you know that?" 

 

_*_

 

Heejin settles down at the wooden cafeteria bench. There's the normal buzz of chatter that is almost soothing at this point in her high school career. It'd be strange without it. 

 

"Oh my God, Heejinie! It's been confirmed! Yves loves me back!" Chuu proclaims, rushing to sit down in front of her. 

 

"Explain," Heejin says dubiously. Chuu inhales, resting her hands on her chest. 

 

"Today... she said, 'oh, Chuu. Can you hand me that stapler?'" 

 

Heejin waits for a moment. 

 

"Is that it?" she asks. Chuu nods, eyes glossy. "Oh, well. I guess she loves you." 

 

"Who loves you?" Kim asks, appearing with a tray. 

 

Chuu sighs and opens her mouth - 

 

"Nobody," Heejin interrupts. "Anyway, what's up with you?" 

 

Kim shuffles her feet, seeming to deliberate before sitting down beside Heejin. 

 

"Hyunjin broke up with Hyunbin yesterday." 

 

Heejin hears Chuu's spoon clatter distantly. 

 

"Oh," she responds. "That sucks." If her voice betrays her, they don't make a comment. 

 

Chuu purses her lips. 

 

"Is no one going to congratulate me?" 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

She hadn't wished for their relationship to end. She hadn't even wished for Hyunjin to like her back. If anything, she wanted to forget it all and move on. 

 

_*_

 

"So, we're a bit late but any ideas for this year's theme?" Yves asks at the front of the room. The yearbook staff don't appear to be even listening judging from the lack of response. Heejin sighs and raises her hand. 

 

"How about Coming of Age? It's cliche, but it works," she suggests. Yves perks up at her participation and writes it down on the board. 

 

"It's good. I'll run it by the advisor," she replies, grinning. She is always smiling. Heejin wonders what she looks like all the time. Chuu said she had a case of RSF. Resting sad face. What does Chuu know, though? The girl is delusional. 

 

Heejin shakes her head. No, Chuu is her best friend. 

 

"Yves, do you want to work on some pages at my house? We only have a few weeks before the senior quotes are due." 

 

_*_

 

Heejin barely makes it into sixth period on time. The test from AP Psych had carried on longer than she'd hoped. Of course, maybe studying the night before would have been a good idea. 

 

She sits down, and Hyunjin appears to be practicing characters diligently. Heejin finds herself envious. She lacks passion in everything she does. School. Piano. Friendships. 

 

Crushes. 

 

She wonders how she's spent 17 years of her life like this. It's pathetic that she's never really felt the drive to do anything without a deadline. 

 

"Heejin? Everything okay?" Hyunjin whispers beside her. She's so pretty as concern curves her lips, pencil limp in her hand. Shouldn't Heejin be asking her that? She nods instead. 

 

"I'm fine, thanks." 

 

_*_

 

"So, here's Yooa's quote... next to her, yeah," Yves mumbles, fingers skittering over her laptop. Heejin hunches closer to her own screen. 

 

"Oh, wait no. Yves, she goes next to Hyeri," she corrects. Yves groans. 

 

"You're right, sorry. I got her confused with the junior Yooa! Her last name is Kim not Choi." 

 

"Honest mistake," Chuu soothes from beside Heejin (she was forced to sit next to her to avoid "creeping out" the eldest girl). Yves doesn't appear to have heard her at all. 

 

Heejin leans in to Chuu's ear.

 

"So, this is what you got after I tried to invite her here for you?" she whispers. Chuu scoots back, glaring. 

 

"Watch me," she mouths. She then turns to face the older girl. "So, Yves... I noticed that there isn't a ring on your fin-" 

 

Heejin slaps a hand over her mouth. 

 

"Chuu is getting a little delirious. We're gonna go get some water. Do you want a glass?" she asks quickly. Yves looks up and beams. Chuu struggles against her grip, mumbling something about needing her cellphone to take a picture. Heejin only tightens the palm against her lips. 

 

"Sure, I'll have some. Thank you," she says before returning to her work. Heejin thinks she must be crazy not to notice the spectacle before her, but then she remembers that Chuu likes this girl. She's definitely got to have a few screws loose to be Chuu's type. 

 

_*_

 

The band room is usually empty after school, so Kim invites her to go there for practice. 

 

She pops open the rusted door to find Kim already playing "Moonlight Sonata". She leans back and claps as she finishes. 

 

"Thank you," Kim replies playfully. "Now, it's your turn." She gestures for her to take a seat. Heejin notices something amiss the second she sits down. 

 

"Where's the sheet music?" 

 

Kim grins like the devil.

 

"Just try it by ear for today," she suggests. Heejin suppresses a groan. She could do this. She could definitely do this. 

 

She lays her finger down onto the cold enamel and - 

 

"Kim? Heejin?" Hyunjin questions, school bag dropping from her hands and to the floor with a plop. "What's going on?" 

 

"Oh, I'm tutoring our favorite underclassmen... or maybe just yours?" Kim replies, laying her hands on Heejin's shoulders like she did last week. Hyunjin recovers quickly and smiles. 

 

"How nice of you! Well, I just forgot my sheet music folder. You guys can continue," she says, walking to the lockers briskly. Her bag lays flat on the floor, sullen and dejected. Before she knows it, she's got the bag in her hands and is walking in the older girl's direction. 

 

"Hyunjin! Hyunjin, wait!" Heejin calls, walking down row and after row in search of her. She turns the corner and there she is, head between her knees, arms locked around her legs. She seems so small. 

 

"Hyunjin, what's wrong?" Heejin asks, setting the bag down and crouching on the cold, dirty floor just to get on her level. 

 

"Do you dislike me?" Hyunjin mumbles from between her legs. Her head raises up, and she glares at Heejin for the first time. "Normally, being disliked doesn't bother me, but when it's you - I can't stand it. I don't know why! I never know why with you! You can't concentrate with me, but Kim is just so much better?" She sighs painfully, shaking her head.  "I've been trying so hard to be your friend, but it doesn't matter. You don't like me, and I just have to accept that."

 

"What? I - I don't hate you. I don't dislike you, either. This is the most I've even heard you speak!" Heejin replies, voice high and squeaky. "I'm sorry for making you feel so bad. I didn't mean to - I'm just - Hyunjin, I'm just weird."

 

"Stop saying my name like that."

 

"Like what?" Heejin questions, finally getting up to sit beside her. The bench is cold beneath her bare thighs, but she's oddly warm anyway. 

 

"I don't know. I'm just saying crazy things right now," Hyunjin replies, deflating. "You don't hate me? Not even a little bit?" 

 

"No, not at all," Heejin says. She watches the older girl chew at her bottom lip until she finally glances up. 

 

"So, can we be friends, then?" Hyunjin asks, apprehensive smile on her face. Heejin grins back weakly. 

 

"Of course, we can," she mumbles. 

 

"Then... let's hug," Hyunjin suggests, opening her arms awkwardly. Heejin laughs incredulously, but tilts her head. 

 

"Sure," she acquiesces, and brings herself into the older girl's waiting arms. It's stiff, but it's nice to feel her soft curves conforming to her body as they press together. Heejin's inhales the clean scent of fabric softener, and laughs again, breathless. She feels Hyunjin's smooth cheek slide against her neck as she turns in the embrace to stare up at her. 

 

"What's so funny?" she asks. Heejin shakes her head. 

 

"Nothing," Heejin says though she's still laughing. 

 

_*_

 

"Yves hates me..." Chuu mutters, swirling her bowl of soup in small circles. Heejin groans. 

 

"God, what now, Chuu?" 

 

"Today, she didn't even say 'hi' to me! I guess my unrequited love has finally lost its wings. Heejin, I wanna say thank you for what you did for me."

 

"I really don't think that's right. She doesn't hate you just because she didn't say 'hi'. If anything, she doesn't even know you exist," Heejin corrects. Chuu gapes until she finally sags down onto the table, head in her hands. 

 

"You're right," she mumbles. "You're so right."

 

"Jeez, what's with her?" Kim asks, taking a seat beside Heejin. 

 

"Yves. Heartbreak. Delusions," she explains. "I tried to set them up, but Chuu couldn't help but be... herself."

 

"Oh, so the usual," Kim replies. 

 

"Hey! Just because I'm not some she-wolf like you doesn't mean I'm not charming in my own way!" Chuu retorts. 

 

"Okay, think about this. My nickname around school is Kim Lip, and yours is Obsessed Weirdo," Kim responds while toying with her ponytail. She gets this strange look on her face before finally facing Heejin. "So, what was up with you and Hyunjin yesterday? I'm guessing you guys finally stopped being weirdos and kissed really awkwardly." 

 

"No, actually," Heejin mumbles, remembering the hug. 

 

Kim scoffs. She wags a finger in Heejin's face and argues,

 

"If you don't hurry up, I'll take her instead."

 

_*_

 

Hyunjin being Interested in Heejin? It was a laughable assumption. Heejin even snickers to herself aloud as she makes her way to sixth period. Most of the seats are still empty.

 

"Hi," she greets Hyunjin when she takes her seat. Hyunjin grins and shoots her an inquisitive glance. 

 

"Why are you here so early? Usually you're scrambling just to get through the door on time," she questions. Heejin laughs, folding her palms in the middle of her desk. 

 

"Ms. Lim didn't take five years just to give us our assignment today." 

 

Hyunjin curls her hand beneath her chin pensively

 

"I like Ms. Lim. She's really thorough."

 

"Too thorough," Heejin corrects. It's quiet, but she thinks Hyunjin laughs.

 

_*_

 

"So, you're gonna go straight home, today?" Hyunjin asks. "No piano lessons with Kim Mozart?" 

 

Heejin shuffles her bag across her shoulder and shakes her head. 

 

"Nope, no lessons at my house or the band room. Just me and my Psych book today!" she exclaims with false cheer. Hyunjin grows quiet, eyes shifting from Heejin to her desk. 

 

"Can I walk with you? Your house is on the way to mine," Hyunjin says slowly. With great care, Heejin nods in a way that she hopes doesn't seem too eager. 

 

_*_

 

It's almost ridiculously cold out. Her teeth chatter uncontrollably, and she curses herself for not wearing tights beneath her skirt today. 

 

"Are you alright? Do you want to borrow my coat?" Hyunjin asks, concern lacing her voice. Heejin clenches her jaw and shakes her head. 

 

"I'm fine. It's my legs that are cold, anyway," she replies, trying to keep her voice steady. Hyunjin furrows her brows and suddenly, Heejin is tucked beneath the older girl's thin arm. Their bodies slot together just as Heejin's had expected: uncomfortablely. Heejin is stiff with surprise, and Hyunjin's arm is rigid like she's trying to wrestle a bull rather than warm up a friend. 

 

"Jesus," Heejin mutters, adjusting herself against the older girl. "Thank you for the effort even though we're both really uncomfortable right now." 

 

Hyunjin's eyes widen in confusion. She opens her mouth and then pauses for a moment. 

 

"I'm not uncomfortable at all," she replies. Heejin laughs, letting her head fall against the curve of Hyunjin's neck. 

 

"Then why are you putting my shoulder in a choke hold?" 

 

"Oh!" Hyunjin gasps, loosening her hold just a bit. "Sorry, I didn't even notice."

 

"It's fine. I'm like, two degrees warmer, at least." 

 

Sunlight shines from a small parting in the clouds. When they finally reach her house, Heejin pulls away to look up at Hyunjin and smiles widely. 

 

"Thanks," she says. Hyunjin grins back. 

 

"You're welcome."

 

_*_

 

"Heejin? Can I borrow you for a second?" Yves calls from the front of the room. Heejin stands up from her desk and slinks over boredly. 

 

"Yes?" she replies. The older girl seems to sense her indifference though she continues to smile. 

 

"I'd like you to do senior interviews! Don't worry, it's only school officials. I made a spread sheet, and you've been assigned Kim Hyunjin and Lee Soojin." 

 

Heejin bites down on her smile. 

 

"Sounds interesting."

 

_*_

 

"It's hot," Kim complains. Sweat drips from her neck and slides down through her shirt collar. Heejin glares. 

 

"You're the one who cranked up the heater!" 

 

"Okay, but now it's too hot," she whines. Heejin pinches her nose, exhaling as calmly as she can. 

 

"Can we just start playing or?" 

 

"I don't get why we're still doing lessons. You're good, already. What more could I possibly teach you?" 

 

"Just listen to me play one more time, and tell me if I'm really good enough," Heejin requests as she sits down on the bench. Fingers poised, she presses down. 

 

_*_

 

"So, you're the school's mascot?" Heejin asks because she's obliged to do so. Soojin nods a bit dejectedly. 

 

"Yeah... I lost a bet. I mean it's fun, don't get me wrong, but it comes with a great deal of harassment. Everyone keeps trying to spin my head around or shove me! They do know there's a person under the costume, right?" Soojin heaves a sigh before slumping against the lunch table. "Sorry, I got a little angry over it. I won't have to deal with this problem anymore, anyway."

 

Heejin sets down her notepad and pats her arm. 

 

"That's all I needed. I'm going to go find Hyunjin, if that's all right with you."

 

Soojin grunts in acknowledgement. 

 

_*_

 

She treads down hall after hall, wondering just where the older girl spends her lunches. Maybe she should have asked her that a while ago. Poor planning aside, she finally manages to catch her near the gymnasium... with her boyfriend. Ex?

 

Ducking behind a pillar out of instinct, she curses herself for being a coward. 

 

"Seriously, Hyunjin. Did you ever like me?" Hyunbin asks. Hyunjin doesn't answer and apparently that's enough for him. "Fine, whatever." 

 

He stomps across the courtyard, snow crunching beneath his feet. Slowly, footsteps begin to approach the pillar, and Heejin mutters a quick "crap" and tries to run in the opposite direction. 

 

"Heejin? What are you doing here?" Hyunjin questions. Heejin grimaces before turning around. 

 

"Oh, I was looking for you for the yearbook interview, but we can do it another time," she answers, glancing at anything but the older girl. 

 

"I'm guessing you heard all of that. It's... unfortunate," Hyunjin says simply. Heejin raises a brow. 

 

"You're not... sad?" 

 

"Why would I be sad? He was right. I didn't like him. He knew it. I dated him because he said he could change my mind," Hyunjin explains. "I dated him out of pity. It wasn't the kindest thing to do, but he was so persistent."

 

Heejin purses her lips, nodding. Hyunjin's eyes trace across her face. 

 

"I've never liked anyone, before," Hyunjin admits. Heejin shakes her head. 

 

"You don't have to force it. We're young, still," Heejin advises despite being a year younger. Hyunjin laughs, and steps a bit closer.

 

"I'm not forcing it. I've... somehow I've found someone I like for the first time." She gazes into Heejin's eyes for a moment before looking away. Why was she even telling her this? 

 

"Oh, good for you?" Heejin congratulates awkwardly. Hyunjin looks up at that, shaking her head. 

 

"Heejin, if this bothers you, you have to tell me. I - I think I like you." 

 

_*_

 

"Isn't Kim your piano teacher, now?" Hyunjin asks. Heejin shakes her head. 

 

"I don't have one, anymore. I wanted to play something for you. Sit next to me," she says, positioning herself on the left side of the bench. Hyunjin obliges as she always does to Heejin's requests. 

 

She lays her fingers down upon the keys. Hyunjin wraps an arm around her waist. 

 

_*_

 

"So, who inspires you? And don't be corny and say me," Heejin chides knowingly. Hyunjin laughs. 

 

"I wasn't even thinking of that! I was going to be corny and say my mother," she replies. Heejin squints. 

 

"So, there's another girl in your life?" 

 

Hyunjin reaches out and tugs Heejin in by the collar. Heejin's pen clatters on the cafeteria table. She lays the softest of kisses on her lips and pulls away, grinning. 


End file.
